She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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