it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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