the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
