Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
