Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
pray to the hookup gods
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize