How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
