the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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