its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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