We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
