he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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