Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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