no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize