i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
