I want to stick my p in your. b.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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