I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
