Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
