Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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