K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
