Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
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Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
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Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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