So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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