Banned from zoo.
Again?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
