just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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