This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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