Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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