Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
My feet surprised me
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