I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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