They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
