Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
