as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
