Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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