Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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