Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
