Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
