We're like a lot better than the average bears
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
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I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
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You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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