The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
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