Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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