I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If I die, sorry about rent.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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