she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
