my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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