So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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