is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
