Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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