I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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