It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
