Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
