he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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