He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
