I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
