its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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