I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
