I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize