you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
