apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
