I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
