That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
