She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
home. puking in laundry basket.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
