he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
