i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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