Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
